Morning Revelations

I thought about using the title "Early Morning Revelations" but I didn't want my sister Margaret to fall off her chair laughing.  She knows that "early" morning for me is closer to late morning, early afternoon for her.  I'm being kind, I don't want my sister to hurt herself.

This morning before I got out of bed, I was planning out my day and planning what I might write about this morning on my blog.  I was thinking over yesterday's post and how I've been feeling in general when several things occurred to me.

One - about feeling "blue".  You know what?  I've been living with a cancer diagnosis for over 11 years (actually closer to 12 since next month is the anniversary month when my doctor found the elevation in my white count).  I've left 2 jobs I loved because of it.  I've dealt with health issues because of it.  Mainly viruses that knock me off my feet 3 weeks or more.  In the past year it got harder to do things and we were first told last spring that treatment was getting to be a possibility.   Finally there was 6 months of treatment itself.  Well gee then, if you look at it like that, it's kind of a no brainer.

Two.  At my last chemo both my oncologist and my chemo nurse both told me that it was going to take some time before my energy came back.  Part of me listened and part of me did not.  Guess which part took over?

I've been telling myself I should be doing this or that, that in months past I was feeling a little better than I do now.  Going into my last chemo I told myself that I was going to take it easy and give myself a break for at least 6 weeks or so.  I was going to wait until the beginning of April before I really tried to do more.  Hmmm, I seemed to have forgotten that.

I shared this with Jim this morning, who pretty much gave me one of those - ya know if you had asked me first I could have told you this looks.  Actually, he was pretty kind about it.  And I resolved to cut myself a break.  And to remember my plan to take it easy until the beginning of April (or longer if I need it).  I'm feeling better already.